Dromio of Syracuse
Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Thank me, sir, for what?
Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
Antipholus of Syracuse
I’ll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something.
But say, sir, is it dinner-time?
Dromio of Syracuse
No, sir, I think the meat wants that I have.
Antipholus of Syracuse
In good time, sir. What’s that?
Dromio of Syracuse
Basting.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Well, sir, then ‘twill be dry.
Dromio of Syracuse
If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Your reason?
Dromio of Syracuse
Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me another dry basting.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there’s a time for all things.
Dromio of Syracuse
I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
Antipholus of Syracuse
By what rule, sir?
Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Let’s hear it.
Dromio of Syracuse
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature.
Antipholus of Syracuse
May he not do it by fine and recovery?
Dromio of Syracuse
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover the lost hair of another man.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Why is Time such a miser of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
Dromio of Syracuse
Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts; and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Why, but there’s many a man hath more hair than wit.